To My Fellow White Americans:

I’ve had with most of you. Especially those of you who sit there and argue with the very people this government is marginalizing and harrassing. That we should “get along and be nice” because somehow that’s going to magically fix everything.

The time for politeness passed many months ago. Sorry, that’s just how it is. If you can’t see why, get you head out of your fucking ass and take a good look around.

You say you have minority friends? Sure, ok! Why don’t you ask them some things:

Ask any of your friends of color how they’re doing right now.

Ask your friends who are legal permanent residents how they’re feeling about their status.

Ask your queer friends how they’re feeling right now.

Ask your queer friends who are legally married if they think their marriages are going to still be legal in a year or so.

Ask your disabled friends about their healthcare.

Ask your steelworker friends if they still have their jobs.

Ask your Grandma and Grandpa how they’re feeling about their medicare benefits right now.

Ask your transgender friends how they feel about their lives right now.

And ask all of the folks above about how many of them are making plans to leave the country.

Your privileged ass is sitting there criticizing Maxine Waters because she’s telling people to not serve these assholes in the White House? Really? Give me a fucking break! When you, as a white person, especially if you are a cishet white male, can sit there and tell me you’ve been denied housing, given death threats, beaten or killed for your skin color, gender presentation, or sexual preference, then you can start criticising Maxine Waters all you want.

But if a baker can legally deny service to a gay couple, or anyone they want, then a black or queer owned business can deny service to anyone they damn well please.

If a state can tell transgender people that they can’t use the bathroom of their gender, or decide that healthcare workers can deny service to people if who client is or  what medical service they’re getting is “against their religion,” then you have NO RIGHT to expect politeness and “decency” from any minority group. Period.

Let me sum this up. I’ll put in in all caps so I know you’ll see it: DENYING SERVICE OR CHALLENGING SOMEONE FROM THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION ISN’T ABOUT POLITICAL DIFFERENCES: IT’S ABOUT CALLING OUT AN ADMINISTRATION DENYING PEOPLE’S BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS.

I mean, for fuck’s sake! A good government doesn’t lock up thousands of kids just because they’re brown. Or deport people who are here *legally* and have been here for decades!

A good government doesn’t do all their decision making by Tweet.

A good government certainly doesn’t deny services to the needy.

A good government doesn’t randomly decide to pick fights with allies because they want to wave their dick around.

A good government doesn’t terrorize it’s citizens.

A good government owns up to it’s mistakes.

And a good government PROTECTS THE BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS OF ITS  OWN CITIZENS AND THE RIGHTS OF ANYONE ELSE WHO COMES HERE FLEEING FOR THEIR LIVES.

If you don’t care about others, or don’t think that any of this has anything to do with you, or you feel like you’ve got yours and fuck everyone else, then do me a favor and get out of my life. My wife and I are moving out of the country for our own personal safety. Even before the 2016 election, my wife felt like she couldn’t LIVE HER FUCKING LIFE. Because every time she went out of the house she felt like she had a fucking target on her back just because she’s transgender.

We’re lucky and we’re privileged to have the resources to leave. A lot of our PoC and queer friends aren’t so lucky, but are STILL making plans to leave the country. I can’t count how many people have told us “Yeah, seriously, get out while you can. We don’t blame you!”

So, white people, fuck off with your MAGA; fuck off with your “You’re overreacting”; fuck off with your racist, misogynistic, homophobic bullshit and get your head out of your asses. You’re being assholes and you damn well know it.

Find some fucking compassion and stop making it about you. I’m so fucking over your bullshit.

To the Conservatives and Trump voters who follow me or know me:

I posted this to a conservative sf/f author’s website today. They have talked many times about feeling “othered” in the sf/f community because they’re conservative, even though they’re LGBTQA affirming (including writing many books about LGBTQA/gender-queer romances, etc). I’m posting it here, too, for those conservatives who have been saying today “But, I didn’t vote for Trump because of his racism/sexism/homophobia!”

“People like me, moderate liberals who would like to compromise across the gap, are scared this morning. And, I think, rightfully so….

I wasn’t sure I was going to write this to you, but in the interest of understanding, I thought I should. I’ve been a fan of your work for a long time, and I know, you, personally, support LGBTQA folks. I know, through your blog here, that you’re conservative, and really, that doesn’t bug me much since I grew up in New England and so I’m a more middle of the road Democrat and I think that compromise is a good thing.

That being said, and I know you’ve felt backlash from this, is that the “conservative” party leaders that are now in power, have, for years, actively been against the basic civil rights of LGBTQA people. It’s written into the party platform. And, while I wish more conservatives like you were in power, they’re not. Conservatives that want to compromise have been basically run out. The unfortunate side effect, though, is that if you do openly support the party, you’ll be seen with suspicion. I truly believe that groups are not monoliths, and that we need to remember that not all of the individuals in the group support everything about the GOP, etc., but I hope that you understand that there are so many people terrified that their civil rights are going to fly out the window in the next year, that they are seeing the monolith, not the individuals.”

In another post in another forum, I also said:

If you don’t want to be labeled as such, prove it. Put your leaders feet to the fire about racism, sexism, and homophobia. Get other folks who voted for Trump to tell their congresspeople to make sure that all people’s civil rights are important, not just white people’s rights (and yes, that includes Muslims and transgender people). Prove to me that you actually will hold them accountable and that they are actually following Jesus, who fed the poor, helped the sick, and other marginalized people. Because, what you’re seeing today is the real fear of people worried that their families will be spit up, people deported, etc.  You may have had anger at the establishment, but what cost will the anti-establishment anger have? We don’t know yet…

The pragmatist in me wants to believe that the Constitution will do it’s magick and keep things from being colossally bad. I want to have hope that there will be so much in-fighting in Congress that none of Trump’s campaign promises will get done.

Honestly, I’d rather not have to be wary (or fearful) of half of my fellow Americans. I want to be able to feel as if this country is still the “Home of the Free and Land of the Brave” still. But today, I just can’t feel that way.

Again, if you’re a Trump supporter or conservative, as I said earlier, I invite you to prove me wrong. If you want me to believe you, then show me that you truly believe that EVERYONE deserves to have their civil rights respected. Show me that you’ll be holding your congresspeople accountable to ensure freedom and justice for ALL, not just white cis-gendered, Christian heterosexuals. If you truly believe that you’re not a bigot, then prove it by making sure my civil rights (and those of Muslims, immigrants, people of color, LGBTQA people, Mexicans, and others) aren’t left to a popular vote, but guaranteed by law.

Your anger at the establishment is valid, heck, I have it, too. But right now, as I said earlier, what cost will it have?

Being Dismissive of People Who Don’t March (aka More Social Justice-y than You)

There’s a thing in social justice and activist communities that has now become a call-out culture thing that really bothers me. It’s the idea that if you’re not doing “X activist thing” that somehow you are not doing enough, or you don’t care about the subject of said activist thing, or that you are somehow complicit with the oppressors if you’re not making statements about everything that comes up.

I see this over and over in many communities:

  • Some activists in seminary thought other seminarians weren’t activist enough because they didn’t march on the streets during the Occupy movement. (or BLM or other marches, etc)
  • Some people in many different communities may think that I don’t care about certain topics because I don’t blog about them, or that Circle of Cerridwen doesn’t make a specific statement, or that we don’t send money, etc etc…
  • Because I pushed Bi issues in college, I wasn’t accepted by the local queer community that was heavily lesbian and gay. Even a lesbian professor, when I came out to her, refused to talk to me afterwards because I wasn’t for the “lesbian cause.” (I’m somewhat certain, though, that she was a TERF.)

In this, there is a certain idea that the person doing the calling out is somehow is superior to you because they have at least done something and you haven’t. Usually with the person doing the calling out not bothering to ask the person they’re calling out about what they actually do. (And gods help the person if they say that they “pray.”)

I feel like a broken record when I talk about this, but I get so many people who have said to me that they can’t do public activism for a variety of reasons: disabilities, mental health issues, financial issues, stamina, time, spoons, or their talents lie in other areas. Sometimes they fear that they will lose their jobs, or work for the government, or are in a situation where they could be in danger if they do public activism. There are also people who can’t go to protests because of the fear of being arrested. They either have medical issues the an extended lock up would complicate or make worse, or they have been arrested before, or have some legal or family issue that an arrest would make worse.

What I tell people when they ask me what they can do is that you do whatever you can, because at least it’s something. If you can pray, send energy, do magick, then that counts. If you can pass along information, sign petitions, write to your congress critter, then that counts. If you can order pizza to send to people who are marching or cook for them when they come home, then that counts. If all you can do is live your life, educate yourself, and try to be an example of a caring, loving, human being who treats everyone, to the best of your ability, as human beings, too, then that counts.

Are prayers, or writing, or any of these other things enough? Of course not. This is why we have a community of people with different talents. It’s amazing that there are those who can march with those doing the protests. Or that they can travel to places, or take the time off, or feel ok with the risk of being arrested. I’m glad that they can do that work.

But, to me, it’s another form of oppression being dismissive of people who are the support: the cooks, those who pray, the writers, the information disseminators, those who educate, those who are just aware and try to be an example of what’s good. To me, it’s like feminists being dismissive of stay-at-home moms (or dads), or lesbian and gay people telling bisexuals, transgender folks, asexuals, non-binary folks, etc that they somehow don’t belong in the queer community. Just because someone can’t do ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICE THINGS doesn’t mean they don’t care, or aren’t doing anything at all.

Blessed be the supporters: may you know that even your smallest helpful things still counts as activism.

This Is Where We Are Now

The world is a very weird place right now. This morning I woke up to my British friends, and my British wife, angry and freaking out about their country. I don’t blame them. They woke up this morning to see just how far bigotry and xenophobia is entrenched in their country. What’s hard for me is that I try to be hopeful, and in this…

It’s hard to find hope when we’re facing a similar situation here.

I’m not talking about the leaving the EU part of the equation here, but the bigotry and xenophobia part. I keep thinking about whether I’m going to wake up on November 9th either having to make plans to leave the country for my wife’s safety, or will I be able to breathe a sigh of relief? Will I have to worry about those we’d have to leave behind being killed because they’re queer and/or people of color?

I’m not joking. This is something we’ve discussed in the event of a Trump presidency. The legislated xenophobia won’t happen right away, but it will happen. Trump is endorsed by the KKK, anti-LGBT evangelicals, and other radical Christianist and nationalist groups. I don’t doubt that if Trump held the presidency, many of these groups will take it as a sign that their godly mandate is approved. Before we know it, we’ll be seeing people saying, “OMG! I voted for Trump, but I didn’t expect THIS!” while people of color, LGBTQA are either deported or shot.

What’s harder is that I have family members who support Trump who don’t see the implications of Trump’s bigotry and xenophobia. Which is the same bigotry and xenophobia that was behind the Brexit vote. Seriously, my wife and I have had to discuss a Plan B in the event of a Trump presidency for our personal safety.

Think about that before you pull the Trump lever on November 8th.

 

Words are Bullets

Every TERF that tells my wife and other transgender women that they aren’t real women or tell transgender men that they are traitors to their gender;

Every Christian Fundamentalist that rejoices when LGBTQA people are abused or killed, or any Christian who “loves the sinner, hates the sin;”

Every white cisgender man who makes rape jokes, queer jokes, and spouts other misogynistic crap;

Every person who says that all black people, or Latinx people, or all Muslims, or all of any other group should be rounded up and shot;

Every person who decides to denigrate another group of people for the sake of “protection” or “jobs” or just because you think they’re “icky” in some way;

YOU are the ones who encouraged Omar Mateen, Dylan Roof, Adam Lanza, and all the other shooters known and unknown.

YOU are the ones that encourage the Cathy Brennans, Donald Trumps, MRAs, Neo-Nazis, and other hateful people.

And if you’re OK that, if you’re OK with people dying because of your “dearly held beliefs,” then may God have mercy on your soul.

If this statement makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you should think about why. Maybe you should think about what you post on Facebook. Maybe you should think about your racist, anti-queer, anti-women blatherings. Maybe you should think about why you think rape jokes, trans jokes, or other jokes made to denigrate people are ok.

Maybe you should engage your brain and think before you speak. Every “just mouthing off” or “boys will be boys” or “stop being so sensitive! It’s just a joke” lets others know that their violence is OK. You give permission to others to hurt and kill someone.

YOUR WORDS THAT YOU SHOUT ONLINE, OR IN PERSON, OR TO YOUR FAMILY TELLS EVERYONE ELSE THAT YOU THINK THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE DEAD. YOUR WORDS TELL PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE WORTHLESS. RIGHT NOW YOU COULD BE TELLING PEOPLE YOU LOVE THAT THEY SHOULD BE DEAD.

Do you really think that’s OK?

I don’t.

Last Week of Lent: Social Justice Work Comes At A Cost (Paganism, Christianity, and Me)

I want to be able to say something profound here about my working, but I just can’t. At least, not in any way that’ll make sense to people other than myself. Most of what I’ve learned this week is that I shouldn’t read any social media until after I’ve done my morning prayers, had breakfast, and done my writing for the day. I’m writing about social justice, and reading other people’s social justice stuff, or about the election, before I get into my own work makes things difficult. My wife says “Social justice work comes at a cost.” and that’s quite true.

In my meditations, Jesus keeps telling me that even He had to go find solitude while do His public work. Gethsemane, the desert, and many other times He would go alone somewhere to pray. I think that’s one of the biggest lessons from Him: that quiet prayer time isn’t a bad thing to schedule into the day. Or, rather, schedule my day around the prayer time. Public work is hard, especially when you feel like you’re banging your head against the wall.

Speaking of that, one thing this week I commented on (yes, yes, I shouldn’t have bothered, but I was feeling ornery), was a post on Patheos where Gwion Raven was ranting about his identity as a pagan. Mostly about what it is, what it isn’t, and what he didn’t like about Christianity. This isn’t anything new, really, and when I challenged him on his wording, there was a “oh, well, I didn’t mean it that way” kind of response.

Gwion made it pretty clear that he wants anarchy for paganism. But here’s the thing: that’s fine for your tradition. That’s what works for you. You don’t want institutions or churches? Ok, then don’t build any. No one’s forcing you to build any or go to any. Just like no one’s forcing you to accept Christian lore or ritual in your practices.

My problem isn’t really with any of that. My problem is with the unspoken assumption that multi-faith pagans, especially those who are Christo-pagan, are somehow less than “real” pagans. I get it. I get that you don’t want to look like Christians, act like Christians, or have anything to do with Christian ritual. (Although I think that’s tough to do, given that any Gardnerian based tradition, which is the model for most witchcraft in the US and parts of Europe, has Judeo-Christian roots. I’d say that it’s a bit too late to be complaining about that. Doubly so if you’re in a Golden Dawn tradition. But I digress.) Again, that’s fine…for you.

But don’t insinuate that Christo-pagans are “fence sitters,” or delusional, or are only Christo-pagans because they don’t want to be “fully pagan.” While being neopagan and Christian is somewhat relatively new, traditions that combine magick and Christianity are not. And, really, many of those are seriously bad-ass magickal traditions in their own right. I wouldn’t want to tell a practitioner of one those traditions that they are somehow “doing it wrong.” Never mind the Euro-centrism of denying mystical Christian traditions.

Again we have a case of someone saying “All pagans should do X.” or “A proper/real pagan is…” I know the pagan community is full of humans doing stupid human tricks, but for once, I’d really be happy if people would really take a good look at and think about what they’re saying.

These lines are familiar aren’t they? Here, let me spell it out for you: “All Christians should do X.” and “A proper/real Christian is….”

Or what about: “You aren’t really bisexual, you’re either gay or your straight.”

Or: “It’s just a phase. You’ll get over it eventually.”

*sigh*

Yeah, we’ve been down this path before. Many people became pagans to run away from this type of thinking, and yet, here we are. Saying the same things that we came to paganism to avoid.

Why people don’t seem to see that they are guilty of this, no matter what progressive community they’re in (since this happens in any movement), while they loudly proclaim that they aren’t being exclusionary, boggles the mind. It’s as if the people they are railing against are the “them” and not really humans!

Oh, wait…