Guidance

“So, now that I’ve made all these tools, what do you want of me?” I asked.

“Well, you use them, of course!” She said.

“But I’m not sure how, and for what purpose!”

She sighed. “I suppose it’s only fair to tell you since we had you write the journey in the first place. Ok, here you go:

The Stone is for looking at the past, storing, and remembering.

The Knife is for the work of magick, as you already know.

The Dark Mirror is for scrying and to help when dealing with the dead.

The Water Bowl is for everyday guidance and purification.

I’d recommend the Water Bowl for daily meditation. And your usual offering of candles and incense. Do prayers in the evening and meditation in the morning.”

I nodded. It all made sense. Now I had a direction…

She shook her head. “It really does take a spiritual 2×4 sometimes, eh?”

“Yeah, well…there’s a lot of stuff going on…” I said sheepishly.

She smiled. Her eyes held nothing but love and kindness. I smiled back.

Holy Week: What I’ve Learned

It’s Holy Week. The last week of my working, which ends on Sunday night.

It’s interesting to look at this working from (almost) the other side. I was kind of nervous about doing it, really, since I hadn’t really done something quite like this before, but I know now that I didn’t need to be nervous about it. Going through it was definitely work and I learned a lot.

From Hecate I learned to let go of people and things that I couldn’t do much about (and about curbing the obsession I can get sometimes with wanting to know everything about people). I also was reminded that I can’t stay in death working mode all the time, and that unless I’m needed in that capacity, that I should save it for Samhain.

From the Dagda I learned why it’s important to ask for help because it’s hard and draining to do it all yourself. (I did improve my cooking skills, though.) I also learned a lot about self care from Him, too, including treating my body with care. What I remember most is that on a bad body image day, He said to me: “If I, as a god, can have a big belly, so can you!” I also realized after His part of the working that it’s best for me to get up a couple of hours early, before I start writing, to have breakfast and do my meditation, or else the brain doesn’t wake up enough.

From Jesus I’ve been learning more about what His role in my life is. He’s more about my public priesting. In other words, His is the ministry that I emulate in public: doing my best to help those who need it, praying, and doing my best to heal in the areas that I minister in. I’m also learning more about my monastic nature at the moment, figuring out how I want to do my monasticism, and how regular ritual can be comforting and grounding.

Overall, I’ve learned just how important daily practice is for me, even on the days where I don’t feel like it. Especially on those days. I have much more confidence in my spiritual work and spiritual connections. A friend of mine mentioned a few weeks ago that we didn’t really learn what it meant to be a contemplative in seminary. I agree. I really wish we had learned more about being contemplative and religious life. It definitely provides a wrapper for my days that helps me be more on focus (especially with my writing) and on task. The other really good side benefit is that my mental health is vastly improved. My anxiety is way way down, and I haven’t had any lengthy depression (some small bouts, but those were more hours than days). Also, minimal interaction on Facebook has also been a big plus for me. (YMMV, but for me, this has been really good.)

I’m going to keep doing the morning and evening meditations, although, I’m not sure exactly how the evening meditation is going to manifest. I’m liking the Compline prayers, since reading from a paper and following instructions is easier at the end of the day when you’re tired. There are a few things I want to add to my altar, too, to tie things all together.

But, I’m at the end, and it’s been quite the experience.

5th Week of Lent: Into the Last Phase

I’ve just realized that I’m over halfway done with my Lenten working. On Tuesday I started the Jesus part of my working, and so far it’s been good. What I’m realizing, though, is that Jesus and I don’t know each other quite as well as we used to. What I mean by that is that while I’ve had a relationship with the spirit of Jesus, it’s been more as an acquaintance rather than a close relationship like I have with The Dagda and Hecate. I realized that this morning at the beginning of my morning meditation, and so instead of doing the rosary like I have been doing the last few days, I just did a quiet meditation and had a conversation. It was a good conversation, and I think I’ll need to keep doing that for the time being.

In the evening, before bed, I’ve been doing a set of Compline prayers that I adapted and redacted from the Daily Office of the Society of Saint Francis. (Out of all of them, the Franciscan prayers and theology are the ones that speak to me. It doesn’t really surprise me, given my witchy proclivities.) I’m finding that I really like the little ritual each night. It’s got me thinking, though, about maybe creating a Wiccan Christian Daily Office (as if I need yet another writing project), but it’ll have to wait until after I get the radical inclusion book done.

I still have a couple of weeks until Easter and the end of this working. I’ve been learning a lot, and I know I want to keep doing the morning and evening meditations, but right now, I’m not sure exactly what that will look like. While part of my brain wants to figure it out right now, but the rest of my brain is saying “Don’t worry about it until the working is done.”

I think that would be the wiser course. Besides, there’s still 16 days left….

1st Week of Lent: Religious Life (or I want to be a Monk!)

Most people know that I’m doing a Lenten working for my deities (Hecate, The Dagda, and Jesus). It ended up being a pretty hardcore (for me) disciplined working that is similar to how the nuns that I stayed with a couple of years ago for my Immersion Course structured their lives and prayer time. Before I talk more about religious life, let me describe what I’m doing in a bit more detail:

Part 1: Hecate

From the February New Moon to the Day before the Full Moon in February will be my time for Hecate. I wake up around 6:30 am (and this is agreed with all the deities for the whole working), do my morning prep (go to the bathroom, feed the cat so she doesn’t meow through my meditations, etc), and then do a (for now) 20 minute meditation. I set my timer (I use Insight Timer on my iPhone because bells!) I light incense for Her and pull a Tarot card for the day. In the evening, before I go to bed, I do another 20 minute meditation, prayers for those who have asked, and light more incense and put away the Tarot card.

So far, the meditations with Hecate have been more in regards to my own inner work and shadow work that I’ve been neglecting. (And learning not to look at the timer when doing the meditation.)

Part 2: The Dagda

From the Full Moon in February to the day before the New Moon in March is the time for the Dagda. For this part of the working, I’m still doing my morning and evening meditations (although, I don’t have to light incense). But because the Dagda is the keeper of the ever full cauldron, I have to cook (really cook, from scratch) breakfast and dinner, preferably not just for me but to feed others. Most of the time it’ll be just my wife who will benefit from this, but there are going to be a few times where I’ll need to cook for others. (Hey Cerridwen folks, this means you don’t need to bring potluck food to our next meeting on the 27th!) I also have to go to bed early (by 10 pm) during this time.

Part 3: Jesus

From the New Moon in March through Easter will be my time for Jesus. I will still be doing the morning meditation (and offering incense), but in the evenings, I need to do my own Compline prayers (the Franciscan version) and prayers for those who need them. I’ll also be going to Good Friday service, keeping a Holy Saturday vigil, and attending Easter service at City of Refuge UCC.

I came up with this working because I was thinking of doing something for Lent, and when I brought it up to my wife, she suggested I do a working with my deities. I thought that was a great idea, so I negotiated with the deities, and this is what come out. I also have a leaning towards a dedicated monastic life, and if I had gone in a different direction in my life, I may have ended up in some sort of monastic order. It got me thinking, though, that we, in the Pagan community anyway, don’t really think about Religious Life on that scale.

There’s usually a disdain towards the idea of Religious Life because when most people think of Religious Life they think Christian monks and nuns, and maybe, if they’re more in the know, Buddhist monks and nuns. Many traditions have had, or do have, dedicated people who pray for others, or do other contemplative practices for their tradition. It also doesn’t necessarily mean cloistered nuns in habits or monks in robes, or celibacy, or being a hermit (unless you want to, that is).

I’m sure some Pagans would argue that they are leading a “Religious Life” because their tradition isn’t separate from their mundane life. However, a dedicated religious life is different level of devotion. You are dedicating your life, and sacrificing parts of your mundane life, to a leveled up form of devotion. It can be in your own home or in a dedicated cloistered type of situation, but it involves some level sacrifice of lifestyle. In my working, I’m giving up good chunks of my time for prayer and meditation. I am reorganizing my mundane life around my devotional work instead of the other way around. (The biggest part for me is getting up really early every day. For those that know me, and know that I’m a huge night owl, you know that that’s a Big Deal.)

It’s not that pagans don’t have people who are doing this type of work (one example that I’ve actually experienced are the Radical Faerie Sanctuaries), but for those who may have considered religious life in other traditions before they converted to one of the myriad of Pagan traditions, that kind of dedicated life may have seemed lost to them. I think, though, we’re big enough as a community to really start thinking about this kind of devoted life, even to the extent of creating Pagan monasteries (even cloistered or semi-cloistered). We don’t have to have the same beliefs as other monastic groups, but we can learn structure and form, which is something that I think some people may just want. In other words, we don’t have to reinvent the wheel, but having these types of structured options are something that is needed.

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