Lent Poetry: Anxiety

Sometimes
you’re just left bare
because the emotions
just flood you
and you can’t stand
right.

a forging
of the soul
when you know you
can’t hide
from
whatever you are

and you just have
to ride
the wave
because if you fight it
it will
eat you

Lent Poetry: Sleepy

you know it’s time for bed
when you are watching
YouTube
without thinking about it

because right now
that is what I’m doing

and writing poetry

because that’s the
21st century

and my wife is home
and I’m not

so
yeah
time for bed

Lent Poetry: Disappeared

Why must I amputate
my stomach
to fulfill
some fucked up
standards
of “health”
and “beauty”?

why is it i feel
like I am bashing my
head
against walls
when I talk about how
I think this
is just medically sanctioned
anorexia

why
must
i
be shamed
and abused
and medically neglected
“for my health”

why
must
i
always
strive
to
take
up
less
and
less

s
p
a
c
e
?

Lent Poetry: All The Feels

feeling
lots of things
inside out
upside down

all the things

anxiety is
a demon
that lives to
torment

and here I am
trying
to tame it

with a body
that won’t function right
anymore
and
a body that most
will shame
before they will
believe me

anxiety
can be a demon
of other people’s
making

Lent Poetry: He is a Healer

He comes to me
lays His hands on my head
and says:

“I can’t promise you
that things will get better.

I can’t tell you that there won’t
be more violence
in My name.

I can tell you that
you will have life
and love
and laughter
and sorrow
before you cross over.

You need not stay at
Death’s altar
in order to understand
Us.

Remember to love
in this life, and remember Me
as I should be.”

Lent Poetry: Food Addiction

(I missed a day! Oops)

when I know I have to eat
or when I have to not eat
a particular thing
because it makes me ill
it’s like I have to
welcome a demon in
just to feel well:

that demon being
the one that tells me
how ugly I am

and how
unacceptable
I am

The one that tells me
that I shouldn’t bother to eat –

especially
not in front of people –

because the fat girl
really shouldn’t eat
in public

but I can’t get away from
eating
because humans have to eat

we’re addicted to food
from day one
we can’t function without food

I just wish
I could stop feeling ashamed –

no – that society
would stop shaming me –

for doing what
I have to do
to survive